


Magic and Matchmaking

by Rainy_Day_Lemonade



Series: TG Hogwarts AUs [1]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Alternate Universe- Harry Potter Setting, Don't copy to another site, F/M, Fluff, Good Rize, Hogwarts AU, Humour, Kaneki/Rize friendship, Kuroneki | Black-haired Kaneki Ken, M/M, One-Shot, Pining, Prefect! Tsukiyama, Ravenclaw! Kaneki, Ravenclaw! Rize, Rize is enjoying this far more than she should, Rize's hair, Romance, Slytherin! Hide, Slytherin! Tsukiyama, Tsukiyama needs to stop, Wingman Tsukiyama, no ghouls, please be kind
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-14
Updated: 2019-12-14
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:41:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21789211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rainy_Day_Lemonade/pseuds/Rainy_Day_Lemonade
Summary: Tsukiyama thinks he’s the perfect wingman, no matter how much Kaneki splutters and protests.Rize thinks the whole situation is hilarious.
Relationships: Hidekane- Relationship, Kaneki Ken | Sasaki Haise/Nagachika Hideyoshi, Minor Kamishiro Rize/Tsukiyama Shuu
Series: TG Hogwarts AUs [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1570237
Kudos: 58





	Magic and Matchmaking

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! This is my first time posting a fic on AO3, so I'm a lil nervous hahaha.  
> This fic was a lot of fun to write- I hope you enjoy it!

Isn’t it funny how good friends become so attuned to each other? They begin to pick up on every little quirk, every nervous habit, to such a degree that they almost wish the other would _stop reading them like a book.  
_That’s how Kaneki felt, at that exact moment, when he felt magenta eyes on him.  
“You’re not going to finish that?”  
The Ravenclaw blinked, remembering the half-finished meal on his plate.  
“I will… In a sec…”  
"Ok then," Rize hummed, returning to her own meal. She smirked, biting into a French fry.“Though I wonder who could be so special as to…”  
_“Who?!”_  
“Don’t try and hide it. I’m a Ravenclaw for a reason- and hamburgers are your favourite.” Her expression softened, eyes alight. “So, who is it? Do I know them?”  
Ah. That age-old ritual of “ _Who do you like?”-_ Something Kaneki though he had narrowly dodged, making it all the way to his fourth year without so much as a scratch.  
Of course, his luck had to run out eventually.  
“Yes…” He muttered, eyes fixated on his plate.  
“Which house?" Rize grinned, toothy and wicked. "It’s Hufflepuff, isn’t it. You’d totally fall for a Hufflepuff…”  
“Kaneki’s dating a Hufflepuff?”  
_Oh Merlin, no…  
Kaneki spun around, eyes wide; _Crouched down between the two, Tsukiyama grinned at his terrified expression. “That’s so cute! Do _I_ know them?”  
“He’s not a Hufflepuff!” Kaneki gasped, wide-eyed and panicked. “And don’t talk so loudly!”  
“Yeah, Shuu,” Rize drawled, flicking her dark hair back- and, to her pleasure, whipping the boy in the face. Tsukiyama spluttered, wiping his face in disgust. “Why are you even here? This is the _Ravenclaw table.”  
_The boy rose to full height, head tilted, smirking down at them in a superior fashion.  
“As the prefect of Slytherin House,” He declared, “I feel it my duty to foster inter-house relationships. It is only through school-wide comradery and respect that our great school can continue to flourish!” He gave a low bow, narrowly missing Kaneki’s head. “Besides,” he whispered, like some sly co-conspirator, “I may be of… assistance… seeing how Kaneki has fallen for one of my own.”  
Kaneki paled.  
“How’d you know he’s in Slytherin?!”  
Tsukiyama grinned; Rize’s cackles echoed through the hall.  
“I didn’t.”

“Kanekiiiiiiiiii,” Tsukiyama whined, “Who is it? Tell meeeeeeee…”  
“No!” Kaneki spluttered, incredulous. “Why are you following us anyway? The Slytherin common room is in the opposite direction.”  
Rize hadn’t stopped wheezing since they left the Great Hall.  
“But Kaneki!” The Slytherin implored, deflated but not defeated. “If I know who your _mon ange_ is, I can help you woo him!”  
_What? Woo?  
_Rize’s cackling amplified.  
“Ooooh, Kaneki!” She cooed, skipping up to the common room entrance. “You must really like him- you’re _blushing!”_  
“I’m _blushing,”_ he seethed through gritted teeth, “Because Tsukiyama keeps _announcing it to the entire castle!”  
_The bronze eagle knocker shifted to life. Kaneki huffed, focusing on the imminent riddle.  
**“What is full all day and empty at night?”  
**Tsukiyama pouted, trying to regain the other boy’s attention.  
“But Kaneki…”  
“Shoe.”  
“Yes?”  
Kaneki slammed the door with a bang.

“Ahahaha… Shoe.”  
“Not in the mood, Rize.”

Kaneki loved sitting by the lake- back against one of the oak trees, reading one of his favourite books. He imagined that, if he ever encountered a Dementor, just the thought of his Spot would help him cast a decent Patronus.  
This idea occurred to him as Tsukiyama snuck up on him from behind, scaring him half to death. _Do Patronus charms work on prats, I wonder…?  
_“Good morning, Kaneki!” The older student announced, arms outstretched in a condescending manner. “What are you doing by yourself on this fine Saturday morning?”  
_Um… Actually enjoying myself?  
_“Not much…” Kaneki muttered, bookmarking his page. He didn’t have to fake his discomfort, his shoulders tense, eyes trained on the cover of his book.  
Tsukiyama smirked, unaffected by the chilly reply. He dropped down next to the other, gazing out across the lake.  
“Do you want to date this guy?”  
The Ravenclaw was sure his face had caught fire.  
“Why… I mean…” He sighed, wiping his face. “… Yeah. I do.”  
“Then why don’t you ask him out?” Such a simple question, with so many possible answers… but few felt adequate- more like excuses.  
_I’m too awkward. He’d probably say no. I haven’t finished my chapter yet, and I've almost reached the big reveal..._  
Kaneki shrugged, drawing his knees to his chest.  
“I dunno,” he muttered, “He’s just so… So _happy,_ and _friendly,_ and he always asks me about the History of Magic homework…”  
Tsukiyama raised an eyebrow.  
“Wow. That must be horrible.”  
“Shut up, you know what I… I mean, he’s such a nice guy… But…” He bit his lip, grip tightening around the novel. “… But what if that’s it? What if he’s just a nice guy?”  
_What if he’s not interested?_  
“… Well,” The Slytherin began slowly, rising to his feet, “You’ll never know if you just sit here and sulk. So, go! Get up and go tell Nagachika how you feel.”  
“Yeah… Wait!” Kaneki choked, face burning crimson, “Who said it was Hide?”  
“Rize guessed. That girl is terrifying- I’m surprised she’s not in Slytherin.”  
  


Kaneki sighed, picking dejectedly at his potatoes. Rize groaned beside him.  
“Just go and talk to him! He’s literally only two tables away!”  
“What, in front of the entire Hall?” Kaneki snapped, dropping his fork with a huff. “Not happening, Rize. I’ll ask him another time.”  
Her eyes narrowed, but the Ravenclaw stood strong.  
“Another time being…?”  
“When I’ve decided what I want to say to him.”  
Rize grimaced, pushing away her plate. Kaneki felt a pang of fear. For all her dysfunctional quirks, she _never_ left a meal unfinished- not unless she was sick, tired or about to chew someone out.  
This time was the latter.  
“Ken Kaneki,” She hissed, “I swear to God, if you don’t ask him out, _I will. For you._ And that will be embarrassing for everybody.”  
Panic aside, Kaneki couldn’t stop the bark of laughter that burst from his throat. They both knew Rize would find that situation _hilarious_ \- but he also knew a warning when he saw one.  
“OK, _OK,_ ” he placated, hands held in mock surrender. “I’ll tell him… soon…”  
“Uh,” a new voice piped up, laced with nervous laughter. “Sorry, my prefect said you wanted to talk to me?”  
Kaneki felt his spirit leave his body.  
_I’m going to kill that prat._

“I’m so sorry about this!”  
Stepping outside the Great Hall, the cool night air seeped into his being, calming his nerves ever so slightly.  
“It’s fine!” Hide laughed, face glowing gold in the candlelight. Kaneki’s nerves returned full force and he prayed the candlelight hid his blushing. “So what did you want to talk to me about?”  
The Ravenclaw gulped.  
“W-well… Well, I was, um… I was wondering if…” He felt the air leave his lungs, feeding the _horribly romantic_ candlelight around them. The blond cocked his head to the side, concern furrowing his brow. “I WAS WONDERING IF YOU’D-”  
“Yes.”  
Kaneki felt faint.  
“… Beg your pardon?”  
His chest was aching- maybe he was having an aneurysm? The Slytherin laughed, his eyes crinkling and _oh my God this is inhumane.  
_“If you were asking me out? Yes. I’d love to go out. With you.” He scratched his head with a sheepish look. “That was kinda redundant, wasn’t it?”  
_Merlin’s beard, he’s perfect.  
_“No! No, not at all!” Kaneki scrambled for the right words. “I mean, yes! Yes, I’d love to go out with you! No, in that it's…” He groaned, burying his face in his hands. “… I’m an idiot.”  
Hide laughed again.  
“We can debate that… at Hogsmeade? This Sunday?”  
The Ravenclaw dropped his hands, a hesitant smile twitching at his lips.  
“Yes… Yes, that would be great.”

_“Bellissimo!”_ Tsukiyama sighed, head resting on folded hands. “They are such a cute couple!”  
With Kaneki and his boyfriend at the Slytherin table, his usual seat was apparently up for grabs- which was arguable, because _shouldn’t you sit with your_ own house, _Mister Prefect?_  
“They are.” Rize hummed, rolling up her finished essay. “But you realise what you’ve done, don’t you?”  
Sighing at his blank expression, she flicked her dark hair back. “You’ve paired a _Slytherin_ with a _Ravenclaw._ They’re the ultimate power couple.”  
Eyes widening, the Slytherin gave a soft gasp.  
“ _Mon Dieu_ , Rize… you’re absolutely right.”  
“So…” She drawled, shuffling ever so slightly towards the other. She gazed up over the rim of her glasses, expression sly. “… What should we do about that?”  
It was as though a light bulb had gone off. Tsukiyama squared his shoulders, eyes shining with determination.  
“I’m going to seduce Dumbledore.”

“Shuu _no”  
_“Shuu YES!”  
  
  



End file.
